This year was different than years past, though. I'm not sure why exactly, but it was. Maybe it was because I planned better. Maybe it was because I didn't stress and worry over the little things I normally do. Maybe it was just Prozac and God's peace washing over me. I don't know. But it was nice. I wasn't curled in the fetal position crying and wishing it was over before it even began. It was relaxing and pleasant. It was fun. It wasn't the week that I've normally dreaded in the past. It was a nice change.
This year I kept a running list of items I knew my family wanted. Just 5-6...some small, others larger. I also didn't worry about money. We are fortunate to be blessed with enough. Just enough. But we always live beneath our means "in case of an emergency." I didn't go crazy (that's just not in my nature) but I also didn't stop and think "wow, this is too expensive - I should get something else." I stuck to the few items on the list and didn't stray from them. I bought with my heart and it was a grand experience.
This year I did NOT go overboard on decorations. I got a late start, and instead of turning into the Tasmanian Devil, I just cut down on what we put up. The tree looked just as beautiful with 1/2 the ornaments. I also put up a new smaller tree with some special ornaments on it. A hodgepodge of super nice crystal ones right next to plastic superhero ones. I loved it. Absolutely loved it. We used the ceramic nativity scenes that our Grandmothers made and made a point to stop and really SEE them. See how intricate the small details are and the time and effort it took to make them. The all white one is so calming and peaceful. The larger, more colorful one is so dynamic and rich looking. I wanted to kick myself for not taking the time to really notice them in years past.
It was an experience that has completely changed the was I view the dreaded Christmas-time Catastrophe. No longer will I allow the rush of the season to direct my feeling and actions. I do NOT have to go overboard to make sure everything is perfect for anyone. It doesn't matter that I'm a sucky gift wrapper - or that a gift only cost $1.25 at the candy store - or that all our holiday snow globes are in a big wad on the bookcase. Its fine. Just fine. Christmas is about giving. And receiving. God gave us his Son. We received the greatest gift of all on Christmas Eve many many years ago. Its up to us to remember that each year and to learn how to share that gift like a light. it starts within each of us. Like a strand of Christmas lights....if the first one works the rest will follow suit. And if that strand happens to get tangled up, who cares? It will only be more beautiful.