Isn't it odd how we drive ourselves insane at the beginning of each new year by making plans to change into something we're not? We vow to lose weight, gain weight, take better care of ourselves, be a better mother / wife / sister / daughter / friend / neighbor / person. Be more involved. Don't over-commit. Cook at home more. Give up caffeine. Drink more water. Be a better listener. Get more sleep. Get up earlier. Be more prepared. Be fair. Be kind. Be thrifty. Be giving. All these things that really change the fabric of who we really are? Those little idiosyncrasies (?) that make us individuals.
I'm not making the same sort of resolutions this year that I have in the past. This year I have only one. To be ME. No one else - just me. I'd like to find those things that make me the person I am and learn to be that person with pride. Those things God gave me that make me different from so many others. I want to be able to embrace my unruly, curly, ginger mane and not wish for something else every day. I want to be able to be cold when its 75 degrees and not feel like I have to explain myself. I want to be comfortable wearing sweater dresses without worrying that my rump looks like a shelf. I want to be able to be in a bad mood sometimes, throw a hissy fit, and not feel childish. I want to laugh loudly until my sides hurt and my nose runs. I want to NOT be embarrassed that I always snort when I laugh. Loudly. I want my kids to have a million friends over even when the house is a wreck (which is all the time.) I want to learn to play Big Red's video games so I can spank him at least once on each of them. I want to find my voice and stand up for myself firmly when I have an opinion. I want to make time to foster the artistic talent I inherited from my Grandmother. I want to make mistakes and learn from them and not beat myself up forever for making them. I want to watch hours of TV on occasion and not feel guilty for being a lazy slug. I want to sit with my friends and giggle like school-girls at stupid stuff. I want to learn to love myself warts and all. (I don't have any warts, by the way. But if I did, I would be glad to try to love them.) I want to be the kind of person who inspires others to just be themselves. I want to love life and to live life.