Got a new part-timer at my work place. Seems nice enough. Older lady, handful of kids, works to get out of the house. That's all fine and dandy. But she's happy. Like excitable happy. Like little dog who dances around and pees on the floor when you look at her kind of happy. And its starting to drive me insane. Can't just say "Hey" when she comes in to work. Nooooo....she has to bounce (yes, physically bounce) into each room, with arms waving and big eyes and calling out "HELLO! GOOD MORNING! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY!" What th?! I tried to hide under the desk once (cowardly, I know) thinking she would walk on by. Nope. It flipped her out and she basically put out an inter-office APB on me. Thought some horrendous tragedy had befallen me on the walk from my car to my desk. She looked everywhere...other people's offices, the bathroom, the kitchen, the businesses next door...everywhere. I had to straight up lie when I finally crawled out. Told her I lost something under the desk and was looking for it. "OH DEAR! OH NO! Here! Lets look TOGETHER!" Oh hell no. Back it on up sister! Don't you be going under there - I LIED, girl! LIED!
Don't get me wrong. I'm all about positivity and good attitudes. Sometimes attitude is all a person has. I get that and I appreciate that. I just don't want to be slapped with it so early in the morning. Repeatedly. I do not want Positive Puppy licking my face before 10 am. I do not want to hear sing-song sweetness and happy-happy word barf before I've had a gallon of coffee. infused into my blood stream I do not want to be told what kind of day I'm going to have, Sugarpants Suzie! You don't even KNOW what kind of day I may have already STARTED having anyway! While you're splitting your face open smiling why don't you yank that ray of sunshine right outcha arse before I break it off! Don't you DARE come in here like Tigger on a tweak telling me to be freakin HAPPY!!
She is nice, though. Have I said that? And she's helpful. Overly helpful, at times. Happy-Helpy-Helper helpful. So helpful that she can't seem to get anything done. Her friends all seem to have strange children, too. (Like need-medication strange not normal-kid strange.) So she is always involved in whatever Mama-Drama they have going on. Its one phone call after the other every day. Then her Man, her Mom, her Dad, her kids, her sister, her Great Aunt Sally, the neighbors Grandmama, the lawn guy, the pool guy, the Direct TV guy - they ALL CALL all day long. How someone can have THAT much to say is beyond me. TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK all day long. I can go through my whole day in a short series of grunts, growls, a few eye/ eyebrow movements and some facial expressions. If there was a way to have a phone surgically attached to someone's head I'm certain she would have it done. And then she'd give you a 47 minute dissertation on the procedure, too.
Sigh. Maybe Its just me. Maybe I'm the weird one. But it sure would be nice if there was a tighter fitting lid on the weird bucket. I could go for that. This is a GingerSnap moment.
Bucket- o -weird
$10.00 each.
Buy a lot - you will need them eventually!